my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
you have to choose: penises or morals?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
