Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
