You're so nebulous sometimes
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
