I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
