My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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