the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
