You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
