He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
