I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize