everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
