His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
