In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
