my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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