I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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