hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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