Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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