we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
