trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Actions speak louder than pants.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Randomize
