I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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