Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
