so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Randomize
