Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
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