was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
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