So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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