I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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