The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
apparently the secret to your success is patron
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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