words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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