Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
