He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
