She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
