also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
