; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
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