There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
