I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
