Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
NoShamevember. You game?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
