problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize
