i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
home. puking in laundry basket.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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