once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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