We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
