After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
