Nicole vs. Life
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
