my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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