he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
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