We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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