can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
