So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
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