the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
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