Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
