im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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