Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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