hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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