Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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