You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
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