Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
