More tranny stories later!
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
