just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
