we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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