Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
