Don't make out with my wife yet
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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