I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
that is very illegal...i love you.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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