operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
