There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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