I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
operation have a gay friend backfired
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
